Empower p 22. My Vow of Silence. Listening

1. According to Lena talking is a way ______________, in other words it gives us a sense of belonging to a social group.

2. She asked herself how she would ____________________ other people.

3. During a retreat people _____________________ the outside world.

4. Even though Lena did not have any __________________ to protest against, she was still interested in the idea of a vow of silence.

PART TWO

5. Lena rose to the challenge except for a couple of times. For instance once a 'thank you' ____________________.

6. Her main goal was only to keep her mouth __________________________.

7. When buying a coffee Lena _________________________ when they understood what she wanted.

8. Lena found surprising that she could _______________________ a lot of information easily.

9. Not getting her questions answered, the woman at the supermarket ________________ her own answers.

10. Lena's landlord tends to _____________________ politicians.

11. Her landlord didn't notice that Lena didn't say anything because he was very ______________________ what he was himself saying.

12. Since people treated her well, she thought her silence _________________________ in people.

13. Lena liked the experience so much that she recommends ____________________.

 

KEY

1. According to Lena talking is a way of fitting in, in other words it gives us a sense of belonging to a social group.

 

 

 

2. She asked herself how she would come across to other people.

 

 

 

3. During a retreat people cut themselves off from the outside world.

 

 

 

4. Even though Lena did not have any burning cause to protest against, she was still interested in the idea of a vow of silence.

PART TWO

 

 

 

5. Lena rose to the challenge except for a couple of times. For instance once a 'thank you' slipped out.

slip out
  1. when something slips out, you say it without really intending to
    • I'm sorry I said that. It just slipped out.

 

 

 

6. Her main goal was only to keep her mouth well and truly shut.

 

 

 

7. When buying a coffee Lena nodded in agreement when they understood what she wanted.

 

 

 

8. Lena found surprising that she could get across a lot of information easily.

 

 

 

9. Not getting her questions answered, the woman at the supermarket made up her own answers.

 

 

 

10. Lena's landlord tends to run down politicians.

run somebody/something down

 ​to criticize somebody/something in an unkind way. E.g. He's always running her down in front of other people

 

 

 

11. Her landlord didn't notice that Lena didn't say anything because he was very caught up in what he was himself saying.

caught up in something

so involved in an activity that you do not notice other things:

E.g. I was so caught up in my school work, that I didn't realize what was happening with my sister.

 

 

 

12. Since people treated her well, she thought her silence brought out the best in people.

bring out the best in someone

to cause someone to behave in the best manner. 

E.g. Mrs. Smith must bring out the best in her students—they all get good grades in her class and are very engaged with the subject matter

 

 

 

13. Lena liked the experience so much that she recommends giving it a go.

 
 





TRANSCRIPT


 LENA A few months ago, I went to a friend’s place for dinner. It was a fun
night – lots of lively company – y’know, one of those nights you feel
you’ve talked about everything and solved the world’s problems!
Towards the end of the evening, I was feeling a bit tired and I just
kind of sat back and watched and listened – did nothing. It was
interesting. It struck me how what we say sort of defines who we
are. Talking is a way of fitting in – y’know, a way of showing that we
belong to a social group.
The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about this and began to wonder
what would happen if I just stopped talking altogether and was just ...
silent. What would happen to me? How would I come across to other
people? I decided to read up on the topic of vows of silence. There
were some really interesting stories online. Often a vow of silence is
for spiritual purposes and people go into some kind of retreat to cut
themselves off from the outside world. I guess you could say that’s
not about communicating at all – it’s like taking time out to focus on
yourself. But some of the other stories I read were about people taking
what you’d call a more public vow of silence. What I mean is they
continued to live in the real world and communicate with people –
just they didn’t speak. Some people did this as a protest – y’know, like
against censorship or something like that.
I didn’t have any kind of burning cause I wanted to protest against
but, for my own reasons, I was still intrigued by the idea of a public
vow of silence. So I decided to take one – just for a weekend. I knew
I’d find it hard to last much longer than that. I looked on it as a kind
of social experiment. I knew it was going to be a challenge!

 

PART TWO

So ... a whole weekend without speaking. The person I found
hardest to deal with was ... myself. When I’m alone I often talk to
myself, or sing, or hum. But, no – I wasn’t allowed to do any of that. I
had to keep my vocal cords completely out of action. I managed OK,
except for a couple of times – like when someone held a door open
for me and a little ‘thank you’ slipped out.
Also when my phone rang, I couldn’t answer. I was quite proud
that I remembered, even when someone woke me up calling
early on Saturday morning. But I did text back. So, you see, I still
communicated – email, text – all that sort of thing. I just had to keep
my mouth well and truly shut.
The first thing that amazed me was just how easy it is to
communicate without words – like, buying a coffee. I just sort
of pointed to what I wanted and nodded in agreement when
the person in the café got it right. I even met a friend for a chat. I
could react to what he had to say by means of a facial expression.
Occasionally, I did have to write some things down on a notepad,
but I was amazed how much information I could get across without
trying too hard.
The most interesting thing was the way other people related to me.
When I was queuing in the supermarket, a woman tried to have a
conversation with me. She bombarded me with questions. When
she eventually realised that I couldn’t or wouldn’t speak, she just
made up her own answers to her own questions. She had a whole
conversation with herself about why I couldn’t speak! She thought I
was unwell.
Also my landlord was interesting. I had to go and pay my rent on
the Saturday. He always goes on about something when I go and
see him – he usually likes to run down some politician or other. I
don’t always agree with him, and we often end up having a heated
discussion. But this time, I just listened ... And when I left he said, ‘It
was great to have a good chat.’ This was interesting. I don’t think he
really noticed that I hadn’t been saying anything. He was so caught
up in what he was saying he wasn’t very aware of me. And it made
me think ... well, aren’t we all a bit like that? We’re all so busy talking
and expressing our ideas – it’s like a kind of prison that doesn’t allow
us to communicate with each other and see what’s going on around
us. Most of the time people treated me kindly. I often felt that my
silence brought out the best in people.
Being silent for two days really gave me a chance to see and feel
things without feeling I needed to respond or react. I mean, I often
wanted to, but I had to hold myself back. And this meant I just had
to let things go – just let them be. And, you know, I felt more peaceful
– more connected with everyone and everything. So it really was
fascinating – my weekend of silence. I recommend giving it a go.

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